Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
