the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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