yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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