I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
