Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
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buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
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He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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