Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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