I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
