and you said cock pushups were impossible
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
