im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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