What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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