i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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