shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
