im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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