I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
