Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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