Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
