Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I am one with the molecules
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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