He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just found puke in my bra..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
