I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
