theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
