If that was your dad, he is hot
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
