i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
