it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
