Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
