The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize