I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
