READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
