I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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