when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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