btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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