So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
