i already hear my dad disowning me
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
