Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
