i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
