so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
