All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
