So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
