I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize