he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
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I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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