I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
