I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
