i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
