Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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