I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
