are you still at the devil's house?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
