drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
