So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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