I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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