whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
