Soap is not a condiment
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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