You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
