We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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