Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
