my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
