I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
