Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
