He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
