dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
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you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
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Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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