i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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