I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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