i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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