I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Randomize