Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
