How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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