Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
