No stitches, just platelets and will power
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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