when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
