Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
