in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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